the eXternal mind

Computers just always seem to work well for me for some strange reason. Since I was a little kid, I’ve helped people fix computer problems. I remember when I was in fifth grade, my library teacher asked me to help her install some software on the school’s old macs. The problems were usually easy that with enough “messing around” (I didn’t tell people I was actually messing around with their computers!), I could find the error and fix it.

I think my hardest job was when I spent literally hours trying to fix the video and sound of one of my friend’s computers. Both problems, I thought, were because of corrupted drivers so I took the original Dell driver CD and installed the video driver: success. Next, I tried the audio driver: nothing. I tried almost everything I could, but I just couldn’t get the soundcard to work! Later, when I went home, my friend’s mom called Dell and found out that the driver on the CD was wrong. I suppose their driver CDs nowdays are fine, but a few years back (~1998-2000), their CDs were horrible: wrong drivers and missing drivers. I found out that the modem driver was completely missing from the CD. The only way to get the driver was to go online to Dell’s site and download it, but if your modem didn’t work in the first place, how could you….!!! The irony!

Another time was when I was experimenting with my computer, I somehow corrupted core Windows XP files on a NTFS partition. Now, I had experience with recovery from FAT partitions, but I did not have any recovery tools for NTFS. So I had to go through a huge ordeal of creating a separate partition, installing Windows on that, and then trying to access my old partition from the new one. After I spent all that time solving the problem, I found that I could just use the Windows Recovery Console and rewrite the core files to solve my problem without installing another version of Windows! So it turns out I could have saved myself tons of time! This experience though, did help when I was asked to fix a computer during SHARP that had the same problem. This time, I knew exactly what to do and solve it rather quickly.

So my sister frantically called me one day because her laptop just died on her. Here’s her story: She accidently left her laptop on in her dorm while she was in New York City. When she came back, the laptop was off, and when she tried to turn it on, nothing happened at all. No bios screen; No hint of any electricity running through the box. She said she tried just about everything, but nothing worked.

So I ran her through a few tests. I wanted to isolate the battery and also the line. I told my sister to test battery power, and then line power. Both didn’t work she reported back. By now, I formulated that it might be a motherboard/bios problem or the power connections inside the laptop. She was afraid that she might have contracted a virus, but viruses that corrupt the bios is extremely rare and even then, I think the computer would still begin to boot. I wasn’t sure however, but since my sister was coming home for the weekend, I resolved to wait.

Saturday morning rolls by and my sister brought her laptop to the house. I began to examine it closely looking for any signs of scratches or dents (perhaps physical damage) or any secret devices attached to the laptop (that could have been planted by super secret agents). Hm, nothing. I did press the power button a few times, but nothing happened like my sister said. So my sister asked: “What could have caused this? Nothing could have possibility happened to it. [More explanation].”

I thought very seriously and replied: “Hm, it could have been a pinch.”

And right on cue, my sister responded: “What’s a pinch?!”

So right on cue, I replied: “A pinch is an electromagnetic device that…[continues].” For those of you who may not understand what I am alluding to right now, watch Ocean’s Eleven. The part I’m re-enacting is where…oh well, you’ll see.

But anyway, I was pretty content that an Ocean’s Eleven scene just happened to appear. My sister was not so content and wanted me to fix her computer. Even though I already asked my sister to try the power tests, I proceeded to duplicate them. I take out the battery, plug in the landline, and hit the power button.

The computer turns on. My sister’s like: “WTF?” I’m like: “Oh snips!”

And thus, her laptop was fixed. Strange things like this happen to me all the time! The last time my sister had a problem with Excel, I did the same thing she did and had no problems! Okay, I said to myself, but scientifically, it was probably a loose connector or something that was reset when I was rotating the computer all around.

So days later, my sister calls again: Her computer died again! The same problem cropped up. After trying a few things, I remembered what I did last time and told her to pick up the laptop and shake it around. Also, flip it around and around, I suggested.

“Okay….,” she said, but tried it anyway (probably skeptically).

A minute later, the computer turns on. That’s how I fix computers. I 1) Do nothing. 2) Shake them. I should get paid doing this stuff :).

Sorry for the really bad writing style. I started to lose interest writing towards the end and resorted to short sentences and fragmented thoughts ^^;